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Alex Danson-Bennett MBE

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Alex retired from international hockey in February 2019 after suffering a seemingly mild traumatic brain injury whilst on holiday with her Husband in Kenya.

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this is someone I've always looked up to she's an absolute inspiration to all of us and I couldn't imagine any better person to be my captain you'll always know she's getting 100 percent every game in training never won a marker because you always know you're gonna get pushed and shoved and she's gonna be bad she's gonna swing and she's gonna hit the ball as hard she can react with that question was one of the most memorable parts of my life certainly my playing career you hear the tannoy Great Britain Olympic champions and again it's almost disbelief it's a moment that you're cherish for the rest of your life the toughest thing about any head injury is there is no time line is it's got a donee

Alex Danson is one of the most decorated hockey players in the world but in 2018 her life took an unexpected twist after a freak accident which left her with a debilitating injury I've come to meet Alex to hear her story after the World Cup everyone gets a break what happened where did you go and what were you there to do my boyfriend and I had booked a holiday to Kenya one evening we went to a different restaurant for dinner and we were sat on and some low seats Alex was chatting away and he said something very funny I I flung myself for dad laughing and I flung my head back and I cracked the back of my head flush on the concrete wall and if I'm honest I knew something wasn't right and

that night I woke up every hour it's actually their fourth head injury I've had and I knew that was something I had experienced before and my kind of heart sank a sight and oh please not again we just didn't know you know what was going to happen in the next few weeks and what did happen so came home and they'd have to say the flight from Kenya was horrendous the flight attendants or what's going on and came over to check she was okay and we sort of just punted off at her migraine to make sure we could sort of get on the plane and get home really I meant being at the airport I have my head in my hands tears were rolling down my cheeks I was white as a sheet and I couldn't I just couldn't imagine getting on the plane it was very much get home and try and get recovered and for her to go back into Bishop the following Monday I went to Bishop where we trained a typical of an athlete I underreported how bad I was feeling and I managed to go to the team away day and

all I can really remember from here is I went in I hadn't seen the girls for weeks and I turned to talk to one of my teammates and I lost the ability I couldn't speak and it terrified me and all I remember thinking was don't make a fuss don't make a fuss he'll be fine and then a few minutes later the session was over and I got outside as quick as I could and remember being a bit teary but try not to show anyone and suddenly I can just only explain I felt horrendous I thought somebody had just hit a nail into my head and my headache was excruciating and I felt incredibly sick I text our doctor and I said I've just being sick should I take a Parsi to want to go to bed um and she called straight where's like you need to get in now and the next thing I know I'm getting a call from Kate the doctor and and from her best night owl' saying where we're rushing hospital house was

pretty poorly when she got there so she went sort of straight through I had every scan Under the Sun there was no bleed detected but I was not well enough obviously to be so I was in hospital there for a week it was one of those things where initiative is it just slowly got worse it wasn't like bang she's hit her head she's in hospital it was bang I don't feel that great I feel really sick I'm going to the doctor's I've been admitted to hospital and it's not until that point where you start thinking all right this is actually quite serious now they said it was a multimatic brain injury and it could take you several months to recover I remember looking at the doctor and I was like she had four heads I was like whatever you don't know me I'll be better in two weeks and one thing I probably will never forget is when we left the hospital my

other half Alex came he picked me up and I remember walking into the corridor I've never felt so unwell in my life I felt like I just wanted to get to a ball and everything to disappear I felt so unwell it got really bad before I got anywhere near to being able to have a day that resembled anything sort of normal life

with Alex's health and playing career thrown into turmoil she turned to specialists helped to begin her rehabilitation

the hardest part of this was you don't know when you're going to get better at the start we were told yeah two months you'll be better three months you'll be better but the reality was very different when she came a hostel we all thought right should be back on her feet within within sort of few days she was trying everything anything that would help her to improve and she found a lot of dead ends to be honest I was fearful that I'd never get better and I just prayed that please let me be able to get to the bathroom and then it was please let me be able to get downstairs with month before I'd be needing a country our world cup and now I can hardly get through a day and then

Hobbs came along and showed her a whole new approach really hopes rehab that's specifically neuro rehab but a wide MDT not just physiotherapists we have ot's speech therapists psychologists a14 Alex feels quite low and I think we're struggling to see the root of recovery I thought maybe it's not for me and actually six months later when I wrote a little bit they contact me again saying please come see us we can help

when Alex first came to us she reported 95% of her day she was suffering from a headache so very little reprieve from those symptoms at the start a lot of it was unpicking what was the cause and the trigger of her symptoms and then educating her as to how to rest reduce any overstimulation and then gradually reintroduce these activities that would help her in the long term recover she asked me just simply to shake my head really quickly from side to side and I honestly looked at her like does she know what she's talking about

she would try to explain to me some of the things that she was doing on the phone and I'd be going okay to some people they might even look faintly ridiculous but to be frank the improvement has been incredible where ours today is light years away from when she came on the hospital with Emma and with Hobbes had I not gone I don't know when I would have ever had the confidence to move quicker than a walk I didn't even think about being out to jog or moving my head or I wouldn't have had the confidence because you're afraid she's improving everyday and she's running more and more every day and and Emma's given her the program for it so even just two and a half minutes every every day or every week makes a big difference

what about Alex how has he handled this and how have you as a couple got through it turn on sit without crying he is one of I'm sorry he is I think the most amazing human being he will ever meet he has seen me at my worst he has cared for me at my worst he has said he loves me more at my worst and they say you truly learn about a person when the chips are down when things are wonderful it's easy but when things get difficult you learn about a person and he became overnight my carer I wasn't able to liaised with doctors I wasn't able to hold conversation on telephone he did everything for me my job in that role was just to make sure that the best people that al has access to were looking after her and this brought us much closer together

he's been amazing it doesn't matter how bad it gets it doesn't matter how how bad she's feeling he doesn't falter you just know when things happen you know the person that you want by your side and and for me that's him yeah it's been a real real rocker and it's been a real rock for my parents and for the rest of us

I hope nobody ever ever has this but if they do we can support one another through it because we've all learned something

sixteen months after Alex Danson suffered a debilitating brain injury she returned to training at Fisher Mavi the home of g/b hockey she hasn't seen some of her teammates since the 2018 Hockey World Cup

this is significantly the quietest I've ever seen the gym I'll never ever forget when it once before really the whole team is in here and you couldn't finish until the last person finish and those are the things that make a team those are the moments that every one of our squad member remembers this is kind of the next phase of my rehab and it's trying to do more specific movements that will transition me back into hockey better Alexes have support from Emma from Hobbes medical and one of the things we've been working together in he's actually integrating Alex back into her environment when you get back in and see the familiarity of the place and obviously the people that you know that

as I say it was about returning to sort of normal activities so hugely motivating I know Alex turned back into the building engine and to be seen her colleagues and friends I have to say it's being such a long times it's a-you know stepped on the field probably the first time I've really imagined being back on it and you know the enormous amount of joy I've had here over yeah many many years amber was in full England set up and with no prompting whatsoever she said we really miss out we miss her spirit being around the team we miss her enthusiasm we miss her drive we miss her leadership and we all just want to back and we want her better she said none of us can fully understand what she's been through but we can only imagine because

this England team for her in this great wooden team for her was everything it's been it's been a while it's funny like I'm watching back today but cracking headache I say close but you say close you so far yeah are we back in what do you think it's also done for your understanding of mental health issues so the invisible illness I think people within my sphere understood and I wanted people in the next fear to understand because although they can't directly help me there will be somebody in their life who they can help who they can understand who they can support and I've not been well enough to reply to so much I've got an entry this large I will go back to every person and I will say thank you because in my hardest moments you cared and that's what I hope people get from this they will understand how to help people because I am certainly not the only one that has something that is challenging

there are very few good things to come out with this concussion as it were for her you know I feel like she's speaking directly to other professional athletes and anyone who who plays sport at a high level just saying this does happen we need to take it more seriously we need to take our time with it and we need to be more understanding of those who are suffering how realistic or indeed unrealistic is it to expect you to pull on a shirt again for your country and play hockey getting my health back to the level is kind of what I focused on now and enjoying other things that are now able to enjoy and concentrate on getting myself back to the position where I can make that decision you wrote an email to your teammates

before you went back to Bishop that was incredibly honest about the things they might see in you because of the injury who helped you do that or was that your decision to say right this is what you might see and don't be alarmed by it what I did over a period of time is I just jotted down what I found hard I just put it all together and I said as hard as I find it I'm asking for your help and true to form they were incredible for the last seven months I was at a stage where I couldn't start this phase of my rehab I'm using every bit of energy I have to stay focused and positive now I am metaphorically learning to walk again for the first time in my life as hard as I find it I'm asking for your help please be happy to see me I'll be so happy to see you if I cry tell me I will get well I may just need to hear it but my headaches are bad you may notice me putting my hair it helps relieve pressure my rehab looks like nothing we are used to although

it's different my goal is still the same as yours I want to improve it's affected all I do how I think what I feel and how I behave it's a steepest mountain I've ever climbed sometimes I get to a ridge only to see I have to go down before I go back up when I do reach the top it'll be the best view I have ever seen

“There's nothing minor about any head injury”

Alex Danson-Bennett MBE is recognised as one of the finest hockey players Britain has ever produced. Having been vice-captain of the GB women’s hockey team for their historic gold medal performance at the 2016 Rio Olympics, she competed in multiple international championships amassing 306 caps for her country and a record-equalling 115 goals.

But everything changed in an instant when a seemingly mild head injury had a devastating impact that would force her to retire from the game.

Alex was on holiday in Kenya with her then boyfriend, now husband, who is also called Alex. The couple were enjoying a meal in a local restaurant when she threw her head back in laughter after he told a joke, hitting her head on the brick wall behind.

“At the time I thought ‘that was hard, that wasn’t great’,” said Alex. “But I just went back to the apartment, went to sleep and ignored it. When I got up the next morning things got progressively worse.

“I returned home and had to lie in a dark room, I couldn’t tolerate any noise or sound. I really wasn’t very well. Six weeks after the injury I started being violently sick and having seizures, so I was rushed into hospital.”

Alex received a wide range of tests, eventually being diagnosed with a mild traumatic brain injury. Having experienced concussion before during her hockey career, she was shocked to be told that it could take many months to recover from the injury.

She said: “In the beginning I literally couldn’t do anything, but then you have to manage how much you take on as you start to get better. I’d get frustrated because I’d want to do something then very quickly feel terrible.

“I was very slowly building back up, and in the early days my husband had to do everything, like walking me to the bathroom, liaising with doctors, driving me to every appointment and cooking all the meals. He was a constant source of support while every day I felt like I wasn’t the person I used to be.

“It’s been about two and a half years now and I’m much, much better than I was. But I still get headaches every day, I still have to manage the cognitive ‘load’, and screens are a big problem for me.”

In January 2020 Alex returned to hockey, but quickly realised that she would have to retire due to the ongoing effects of her brain injury. Since then, she has taken up coaching, runs her own hockey academy and works with Vitality to help people improve their health. Alex and her husband are also busy with the arrival of a new addition to their family, a daughter born in January 2021.

She said: “I manage my week now, spending time outdoors because that suits how I respond to artificial light. I think there’s a retraining your brain part of recovery, so it’s important to work and positively challenge my brain.

“I would say life is very different to what it would have been if I hadn’t hit my head. Two weeks before my injury I was walking the GB women’s hockey team out as captain. Two weeks after, I couldn’t walk to the bathroom or hold a conversation.

“I’m not the same as I was but I’m living a happy, fulfilled life, I just have to manage the symptoms which I believe, in time, will go. If I can get to the end of 2021 and be headache-free, I’ll be absolutely delighted.”

Alex recently found out that her mother regularly used the Headway helpline for support in the weeks and months following her injury.

She said: “For a family it’s a horrendous time, to see your loved one suffering so badly with no one helping or understanding. But Mum used to call the helpline just to speak to someone, and they reassured her and gave her snippets of information about brain injury.

“She found it an incredible service that she accessed regularly. I was too unwell to call myself, but as a resource for the family, it was incredibly useful.”

With a passion for raising awareness of brain injury, Alex has become a Headway Ambassador. She supports the charity’s Concussion Aware campaign to help more people enjoy sport while having a greater understanding of the dangers of concussion.

“I know my injury wasn’t in sport, but I don’t want anyone to go through what I’ve gone through in the last two and a half years,” said Alex. “If better concussion protocols, early management and early treatment can improve your recovery, which I believe it can, then I’d like to see that in place.

“My advice would be to not do anything until you’re symptom-free. A few weeks seems like a long time, but two and a half years feels like an eternity so listen to your body, rest and don’t rush back.”