Hosting or attending an event

As the year creeps to a close, we are entering that period sometimes referred to as ‘party season’. Between Christmas and New Year, many people like to arrange or attend parties, whether it’s a large, glittering social
event to ring in the new year, or a cosy get together with family and friends exchanging presents under the Christmas tree.

But the prospect of attending or hosting a party can be daunting for many survivors of brain injury. Issues such as sensitivity to noise levels, problems with concentration, remembering information and other effects of brain injury can make it difficult to look forward to and attend parties.

Attending a party

Make a note of details you need to remember (such as date, time, location, anything you need to bring such as a gift or food) and set alarms if you have problems with remembering information. Try to use a system that you already regularly use, such as marking things on a calendar, using an app or writing details in a diary, as you are much more likely to check this way.

• Try not to make plans a day or so before and after the party if you struggle with fatigue. Activities like attending a party can take up a lot of energy, so you should try to plan accordingly.
  
  
• Ask your host in advance if they have a quiet room or space that you can sit in if you need to take a break, for instance if you feel overwhelmed by the noise.
  
  
• Consider taking your Headway Brain Injury Identity Card along with you, if you have one. Your ID Card can make it easier to explain to others that you have had a brain injury and may need extra time and understanding.
  
  
• Remember that drinking alcohol is generally discouraged after a brain injury because you may be more sensitive to its effects. There are plenty of alcohol-free options that you can explore.

• Contact venues or your host to check accessibility requirements in advance. You should also check in advance if there is an accessible toilet, if you have continence issues.
  
  
• Try to arrange travelling to a party with someone so that you do not have to drive or travel by yourself afterwards, in case you feel fatigued.
  
  
• Be aware of any situations that may trigger feelings of irritation or anger, and have a strategy prepared in advance for how to handle this.
  
  
• Some common triggers that you may encounter at parties are overstimulation (noise, bright lights), feeling too hot, certain comments or topics of conversation or situations that make you feel pressured or rushed.

Hosting a party

• Break the larger project of ‘throwing a party’ into smaller tasks and make lists of things you need to do for each task. Cross these off as you complete them to help you stay organised. You could have separate lists for food to prepare, decorations to set up, people to invite etc.
  
  
• Delegate tasks to others such as relatives, close friends, colleagues or others in the community who can help you with getting things set up. For instance, you could allocate tasks to different people or arrange a ‘one dish’ party so that everyone attending brings one dish along.
  
  
• If you are cooking a meal, try to prepare some food in advance and freeze this. Make a note or set an alarm to remind yourself to defrost these the day before. Consider using ready prepared foods where you can, such as pre-chopped vegetables, ready to roast meals or frozen desserts.
  
  
• Learn to use breathing techniques to keep relaxed and calm, especially if you struggle with anxiety.
  
  
• Try to keep things in perspective – it is okay if things don’t go entirely to plan! You may find that there are things on the day of your party that do not go according to schedule but try not to become disappointed and remember that mishaps are a normal part of life, with or without a brain injury.

• Be clear in communicating your needs to people attending your party, for instance if you need the volume of music to be kept at a certain level, the brightness of lights to be kept at a certain intensity or people to leave by a certain time so that you do not get too overwhelmed or fatigued.
  
  
• Don’t forget to have a camera ready to take photos of your party! Throwing an event is a big accomplishment and you may want to or need to take photos to remember the good memories you have.