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Dear my new brain

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Dear my new brain

Anna Khan

Dear my new brain

Anna Khan was hit by a car in December 2015, causing a severe brain injury that led to numerous hidden, long-term effects. 

Here, Anna explores what 'A New Me' means to her by writing a letter to her brain injury. 

Dear my new brain 

I know I haven't treated you right at all. I know I didn't look after your properly. I know I've put you in stress, fear and doubt. I'm sorry brain that I have hurt you. I'm sorry that you cannot work as much as you used to. I know you'r broken and I know you're in pain brain.

But, me and you will get better. I am going look after myself to look after you and to make sure that you heal fully.

I know I hurt you when we hit the floor together and I can't go back in time to fix you but I promise I will do everything I can to make you feel better. To get better together.

Anna Khan in intensive care following her brain injury, surrounded by her family

I know that some days you get tired and that's okay because I will give you a rest and I won't put you in stress anymore.

I also know that some days can be hard to go through and I do think that some days are harder than other days. Some days you're not the mood, you're tired or you're worrying which I understand because these days make you do work harder. I know some days are harder to get through because you're worrying and stressing. I think you worry because there is a lot going on and a lot for you to take in and remember too.

Some days, I do put you in an emotional state because I do miss the old me. I find it upsetting when I miss the old me and the old life that I had but I know it's not your fault and I shouldn't take it out on you.

I'm sorry I have my emotional days too along with my busy days or worrying days but I don't forget about you. I do try and help you. I give you the sleep and rest you need.

I do try to let you heal and not stress. I am trying to make it easier for us, I am still learning how to help you heal and how to make you feel better. I am going to look after you as much as I can. Whenever I can.

I will make sure things don't get too much for you and I will give you the time you need to take in the situation that we get in. I will make sure nothing is too much for you anymore. I will sleep when you need the rest. I will eat properly to help you heal. I won't put you in any difficult situations anymore because I am learning how to live with you.

I promise I will help you, I will slow down, I will not stress anymore and I won't put you in a hard situations anymore because I am learning how to live with you. I have learnt that you can handle quiet situations so I will stay in quiet situations rather than busy. I have learnt that you can't remember a lot of information so I will give you little information so it's easier for you.

Anna with her sister in hospital

I am sorry for hurting on when we hit the floor together. I know I miss the old me and my old brain. I know we miss the life we had and I know things have changed for us. I am sorry for hurting you but I have learnt how to live with you and I will look after you. I don't want us in stress anymore.

I'm sorry that I have hurt you so far but I promise from now on, I will help you to get better so that you can heal.

You rest now brain and heal while I do everything else to take care of you.

From,

The person that is looking after you.

 

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