Emma Seasman

I’m pretending I’m alert hiding my yawn in my (jersey) sleeve

We're sharing this powerful poem by Headway Sefton member Emma Seasman, who sustained a brain injury due to a brain tumour 10 years ago.

“Creativity has been really important to help with the impact of the brain injury on my mental health,” explained Emma. “I attended a creative writing course in 2015, which led to me writing and performing short stories as a therapy.

Headway Sefton had a huge impact on my recovery and also encouraged me with my creativity. I performed one of my poems at their AGM a few years ago.

Shopping and lunch date taken for granted
Recharge with a coffee and up again for round two

I’m pretending my muscles don’t burn
I’m pretending my watch isn’t ticking to seizure o’clock

I’m dressing for comfort not glamour
Fabrics that mould to the sofa when I need to crash out

“Let’s go for cocktails or go out for a meal”
I’m pretending I’m alert hiding my yawn in my (jersey) sleeve

Getting ready exhausts me before the taxi is called
A migraine in the distance promising presence before it arrives

Heel ache times by twenty for Cinderella brained belles
Nights out spoiled by memories of week long recoveries made

Eyeliner eyes glaze through eyelash extensions
Weighing heavy on lids already worn and strained

Dancing for me is a gladiator battle
My chosen cloth light as I’m already weighed down

Patterns of clothing mixed with bright flashing bulbs
Send my brain waves to seizures looking drunken and strange

Pyjamas now; not classic shapes and flattering cut
What fabrics hurt least?
Designs that will never see sun

When fashion becomes function

Fun becomes draining

Designs are abrasive

Where catwalks are barbed

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'My Broken Brain' by Sam Hedges

"I wrote this piece to help others feel positive and informed of my story."

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Headway - the brain injury association is registered with the Charity Commission for England and Wales (Charity no. 1025852) and the Office of the Scottish Regulator (Charity no. SC 039992). Headway is a company limited by guarantee, registered in England no. 2346893.